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Написано Well if by "удобочитаемый текст" you mean regular looking English I can do that and explain the jokes.Переписал на удобочитаемый текст... Всех визуалных шуток объяснить не смог.
Page 1:
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Text box: For Darius JOHNSON and zapawork, on the conquest of Delve,
for Vadinho, Zastrow, and Vio Geraci, for inspiration,
and for newbies.
Art: The background is of a map of the south-eastern part of the game extending roughly from the RIT triangle to southwestern Detorid.
In the name of the prophet kartoon.
Analyisis: Darius and Zapawork were Goonswarm's two leaders when Delve was actually conquered, Vadinho, Zastrow and Vio are famous Goons, though I don't know why. I think Vio is/was a fleet commander. When they call kartoon, Goonswarm's current CEO a prophet they are making an Islam/Islamic terrorism joke, this will come up several times within the thing so get used to it.
Page 2:
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Text Box 1: Once Upon a time there were two alliances. One was favored by the devs. They could do no wrong and any who exposed their gifts was banished from the land. The other had to fight tooth and nail for a single belt of crokite.
Image 1: In the top of the image devs are depicted as Hindu gods giving a character identified as Sir Molle gifts of Blood Raiders, faction standings, money, a telephone (I direct high level access to CCP) and lots and lots of blueprints which are literally shown as blue prints. Sir Molle is depicted with a grey beard and mustache, which he has in real life. The bottom of the image shows a dev chasing off kugutsumen while two goons dig for crokite. (This is an old goonswarm joke that they all worked in "the crok mines" back when they lived in Syndicate.)
Text Box 2: Sir Molle, the leader of Band of Brothers, was afraid to challenge equal opponents, even with dev favors, lest his K:D ratio suffer. So he sent forth his highly skilled army of men and transvestites to massacre the weak. Refusing to engage, Goonswarm's young pilots hid and sold their enemies overpriced Caracals until Sir Molle's patience wore thin. He departed, declaring a premature victory. Goons were furious at the loss of our wealthy customers and swore revenge.
Text Box 3: For his part, Sir Molle resented our refusal to pad his killboard. Also once one of his minions got himself run over by a truck and Sir Molle held a grudge against anyone seemed insufficiently grief-stricken over it. Some people are very judgmental.
Image 2: The top of the image shows bunch of bees in a tree. The bees will be showing up throughout the series doing various things, most of which are not actually part of the plot. The middle of the imageshows smoske lieing dead next to an ox cart, with some of his blood on the cart's wheel. Sir Molle is looking on while Tetsujin is pointing and laughing. Tetsujin, for those who don't know, had a signature of a "bandwagon" running over smoske which was the official reason for the start of BoB's active attack on Goonswarm. The bottom of the image had a bunch of unidentified figures watching the incident.
Page 3:
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Text Box 1: As time passed, Goonswarm allied itself to Red Alliance and Tau Ceti Federation and stormed the southeast. Eager to take credit for Lotka Volterra's presumed victory, Sir Molle declared war too. When we annihilated Lotka Volterra and pressed westward, only his titans gave him the courage to continue the fight.
In those days logged-on titans were unstoppable and Sir Molle ceaselessly abused his power to kill even lone frigates. Frustrated, our founder Remedial, ordered a full retreat. When we refused, he stole the ham from our very mouths and abdicated his throne to The Mittani.
Equally frustrated, The Mittani declared war on the devs. Goons eagerly lept into a threadnaught from which few emerged unharmed; The Mittani himself was crippled. As the impossibility of victory grew clear, he ordered a ceasefire, appointed Sesfan Qu'lah his successor, and wheeled himself into the shadows. Only to be mauled by a bear, poor guy.
Image 1: Sir Molle, riding an elephant covered in a BoB symbol, is shooting red lightning at a single guy as two figures (Koffer and Colonel 6ver(?)) watch from behind a hill while working on a plan with several strategic maps. I don't know who either of them are. This image introduces the concept of titans as elephants and red lighting as doomsdays, get used to them as they will be repeated a lot.
Bottom scroll: Several of Goonswarm's former CEO's are depicted in their "fatbee forms." Remedial, who is obese in real life, is shown stealing his favorite food, ham and Goonswarm's piggy bank. A young Mittani is shown giving his sword (representing the war) the finger while a newbie looks on unhappily. "Normal" looking Mittani is then shown handing over the sword to Sesfan Qu'lah who, as always, is depicted as being drunk and depressed. For those who don't know, Mittani's wheelchair form is based off of Doctor Strangelove, a character from a famous American movie about nuclear war.
Image 4:
http://jihadswarm.dr...pics/hist/4.jpg
Text box 1: Unmoved by our drama, Band of Brothers continued the slaughter. To protect our first mothership, still cooking in QY-UOQ, the lieutenant suas successfully distracted the enemy with easy kills from coked-up SpecOps cannon fodder in XGH-SI. To evacuate our second mothership's components to safety, he and nync pos spammed the system.
Image 1: Suas, nync and xttz are shown ordering people to build many towers (as in literal towers) in what I assume to be XGH.
Analysis: Suas was one of our main fleet commanders, he was in charge of an elite group of pilots called "Special Operations-SpecOps" and enjoyed cocaine. Xttz was a Goonswarm big-shot who did a lot of work at the time to turn the war around. You all know who nync is.
Text box 2: When we noticed that Sir Molle was evacuating towers from 9-980U to XGH-SI to compete with our spam, we saw an opportunity to recapture that system. One horde of angry Russians and a few logisticians later, Band of Brothers progress was halted forever.
Image 2: In the top of the image a bunch of "Russians" charge forward while in the bottom of the image Stampert and Grayton (Goonswarm's two most famous and hardworking logisticians) pull and push a cart full of barrels of stront.
I'll do more later if anyone wants me to.
